Head Above Water

pressure

I can’t breathe

everything everything everything

all the time never stops

sometimes I can’t keep it at bay

letting my thoughts go astray

where’s the life vest?

where’s my saving grace?

vertigo vertigo vertigo vertigo

vertigo vertigo vertigo vertigo

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Geographic Representation in LGBTQ+ Media?

kennedylejeune:

A great article written by my friend, Joshua Mesman.

Originally posted on Joshua Mesman:

queer media

Last Friday, I went to my parents’ house – surprisingly – finding it empty. There was still laundry to do, and my parents were to be back later. Going to my parents’ house, gives me the time to watch cable, and if anything, more than likely I pick something gay I can’t get on Netflix. I was happily surprised to have landed on MTV just in time for Laverne Cox Presents: “The T-Word.”

There were various young trans men and trans women represented at first. There was a New Yorker, a Californian, another Californian…. The trend that I’ve been sensing outside of the T-Word, itself, and in general was starting to agitate me. But wait, NEW ORLEANS.  I gasped, “OMG I think I’ve seen this woman in the Quarter before, too!” The woman was black and trans and spoke out about the racism and transphobia she and other trans women…

View original 960 more words

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Fresh Starts

Recently, I have come to the conclusion to move forward and let people’s perceptions of me go. This means that I am cleaning out social media friend lists, wearing what I want, and doing whatever I please. I do not care anymore about people who don’t have room in my life, people I never talk to, people who friend me because we have mutual friends, etc. If I continue to try and please people for their sake, I will continue to hold myself back from achieving my goals. I must be ruthless in my endeavors to create and live artistically.
I don’t just mean deleting social media friends and accepting moving forward from friends I have grown apart. I am also talking about my family and my parents. I am not going to distance myself from them, rather I am starting to voice my opinions more. I tell them what I think. I defend my life choices because this is who I am, and I am the only person living my life.
I spent most of my life pretending to be someone I wasn’t and accepting one way of living; that is: be a good daughter, make good grades, look nice, wear makeup, hang out with other girls, try to be well liked by my peers. I don’t care anymore to do these things. I never have cared, but I didn’t know there was any other way until I got to college and met my girlfriend.
Fresh starts are important. They remind us that we can constantly reinvent ourselves and create beautiful things in our lives.
Shawn told me once, “Live your life like an extended art project.”
I intend to do so fully without regret, ruthlessly, brash, boldly, strongly.
And, no one is going to stand in my way.

Crutch

Don’t lean on me,
I am not fit to hold you.
My foundation shakes
like the old ruins of Rome.
Consumed by fire,
the Pagans rejoice
while I watch from
the stake and smell
my sweet flesh burn.